A letter my younger self…

In November 2011 I posted a Letter to My Younger Self on The Real World.  I decided to write another one, this one to myself as a senior in high school.  This is for all the girls out there waiting for someone to know you.  

Dear Jenn,

You don’t know me, but I know you.  I know you better than you know yourself right now.  I see you for the flawed little beauty you are.  Isn’t that what you always wanted?  I wish I could tell you don’t look for this in another person, but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t listen.  You don’t really like to be told how to live your life, even by that little voice in your head.  The one that knows better, the one that knows the truth.

The truth is, there is only one who can know you.  And it’s not “the one” of fairytales, but rather The One.  The One you will come to know when you find yourself.  The One knows you now and will know you long after you are gone.  I know you can’t see it right now, there are too many clouds in the way.  Doubt.  Question.  Rail against.  You will always return.  Call it what you like.  God’s still there.

You will see The Truth in song and dance.  In the plains of Africa and the parties of Spain.  You will find The Truth in your travels and in the soft, quiet comfort of home.  You will see it in the eyes of friends and the voice of a man.   You will see The Truth and you will run.  It will bring you to your knees and lift you so high you fear the fall more than the climb.  Soak it all in.

Fish Face in Sevilla, Spain

Big things are coming up around the bends.  Soon you set out from home, taking your first tastes of freedom.  Going on a journey that leads around the globe.  Yet, you will look back on these days of struggle with love for the girl you once were, and thanks that she made it through.

People are saying a lot of things to you right now.  I thought I’d let you know, you create deeper friendships with most of those you know now than you ever did in high school.  You treasure those people who helped you grow into the person you are today.  And you are about to meet the people who in some respects save your life.  They show you how friendships are built and maintained and how to create a chosen family.

You will fall in love.  And have your heartbroken.  And fall in love again.

You will make your own way.

my crazy family

You will fall.

You will get back up.  And learn to look for the rocks in the way.

You will be loved.

You will be known.

You will learn to love yourself.

You will find The One.

Here’s to your future.  It’s a good one.  Get ready.  It goes by fast.

Love,

Jennifer

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